Torn

The last few weeks i've been going through bizarre swings of mood related to my way-too-soon-to-come return to France (7th of September).
It is no news to anyone that I am having a great time here in Lao. It's been fantastic since day one, and is even more the last few weeks since I ve started making good friends here. This is the annoying thing about staying in a country for a given time (4 months for me): you spend most of the time getting used to the country, the customs, meet a few people but dont make real friends, spend time settling down a bit, and when you're finally in and surrounded by "your" people, it is time to leave.

SHIT.

I started panicking about going back to France a few weeks ago. So i sent over a few job applications, triggering destiny and well decided to stay over Laos if I ever had a job opportunity. I didnt find any suitable job so at some point I just made up my mind. At least I tried so theres nothing to regret. At that point, I was feeling so blue I was about to cry whenever I was thinking about leaving. Yeah i'm such an emo I'd slap myself sometimes.

Anyway this just couldnt go on. I told myself one day i'd just enjoy the time I have left and stop crying over myself. So I decided to be in total denial of the fact I was about to leave. Me? leaving? Leaving what? Where to? You must be mistaken. Denial, I tell you. And since then, I feel much better :)

The truth is, in the meantime I decided I'd apply to a master's degree at University in France, so this is something to look forward to, and it helps coping with the return to France.

Wait. Who's returning? I'm not going anywhere. :)

Anywhoo, mid september i'd be a student again, studying the very pretentious-named "Didactique des langues et des cultures FLE/S : autoformation accompagnée et diversification des publics" master's degree and I am so fucking excited about it. (yes, one can be excited by that).

So this is all this post is about. Just so you know, I cant wait starting this new chapter of my life back in France, but i'll be coming back without a piece of my heart i'd left behind me in Laos.